The Black Dog and Me – Normalising the Ongoing Battle
I’m not writing this to create an outpouring of concern, likes or sympathy. I’m writing it because we need to normalise these conversations. I want people to know that even though it’s tough, it’s okay not to be okay.
Poor mental health and mental illness isn’t a one-off event you “get over.” It’s a battle. Sometimes it’s the black dog quietly barking in the background, sometimes it’s nipping at your heels, and other times it takes a full bite right out of you. That’s the reality I live with and it’s a reality many others do too, even if they never say it out loud.
When my life fell apart years ago, I thought if I worked hard enough and pushed through, I’d eventually beat the black dog for good. I believed it was one big fight, win it once and move on. But the truth is, it doesn’t work that way. The dog comes back. Some days it’s closer than others. Even now, there are days when I feel like I’m just hanging on by my fingernails, not strong, not in control just trying to keep going.
That’s a hard thing to explain to the people you love. They want you to be okay. They want to fix it. And sometimes, I’ve felt guilty for not being “better” yet. I’ve had to learn to tell my family and those closest to me that this isn’t about weakness, or not trying hard enough. It’s about living with something that doesn’t always play by the rules. It’s about being honest when you’re struggling and letting the people who matter know what’s going on inside.
The black dog thrives in silence. For years, I stayed quiet, thinking that was the tough thing to do. But silence gave it more power. What helps is conversation raw, uncomfortable, and honest. Telling your mates you’re not okay. Letting your partner or kids know you’re battling. Talking to a professional when the barking gets too loud.
In my work, I meet so many people who feel like they’re failing because they’re still struggling. They think one round with the black dog should have been enough. But here’s what I’ve learnt: if you’re still here, still showing up, still fighting in whatever way you can you’re not failing. You’re doing the bravest thing there is.
We need to normalise that poor mental health is part of the human experience. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. And being human means some days will be bloody hard. That’s okay. What matters is that we keep talking about it, keep checking in on each other, and keep reminding ourselves that the black dog doesn’t get to win as long as we keep showing up.
So today, I’m struggling. And that’s okay. If you’re struggling too, please know you’re not alone. The black dog might be loud, but together we can quieten it through connection, through honesty, and through the courage to keep talking.
If you or someone you know is struggling:
Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14
Beyond Blue – 1300 22 4636
TIACS (This Is A Conversation Starter, free for tradies and truckies) – 0488 846 988 (text or call Mon–Fri, 8am–10pm AEST)
You don’t have to fight this battle alone.