When Stress and Anxiety Take Over: Finding Your Way Back When Life Feels Too Heavy
There are moments in life when stress and anxiety don't just feel uncomfortable.
They feel overwhelming.
They feel paralysing.
They rob you of sleep, cloud your thinking, impact your relationships and leave you feeling like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.
I've experienced it personally.
Not just once, but multiple times throughout my life.
As a dairy farmer, I lived through floods, droughts, financial pressure and uncertainty. I experienced the breakdown of our family farming business. I watched the identity I had built my entire life disappear. Eventually, I found myself standing in a shed with a rope around my neck, believing there was no way forward.
Today, as I travel Australia speaking about mental health, leadership and disaster recovery, I continue to see the impact of overwhelming stress and anxiety every day.
It looks different for everyone.
For some, it's the farmer staring at the ceiling at 3am worrying about the next rainfall.
For others, it's the business owner wondering how they will pay wages next week.
It's the emergency services volunteer carrying the weight of what they have seen.
It's the parent trying to hold everything together while quietly falling apart themselves.
It's the community member six months after a disaster who is exhausted from paperwork, setbacks and uncertainty.
The common thread is that stress and anxiety eventually become more than our minds and bodies were designed to carry alone.
Anxiety Is Not Weakness
One of the biggest myths I encounter is the belief that anxiety is a sign of weakness.
It isn't.
In many cases, anxiety is your body's alarm system working exactly as it was designed to.
The problem is that sometimes the alarm keeps ringing long after the immediate danger has passed.
When that happens, our nervous system can become stuck in survival mode.
We become hypervigilant.
We catastrophise.
We struggle to make decisions.
We withdraw from others.
We lose perspective.
What was once a helpful protective response becomes exhausting and debilitating.
The challenge is not eliminating stress completely.
The challenge is learning how to regulate it before it regulates us.
The Capacity Before Crisis Approach
One of the reasons I speak about Capacity Before Crisis is because resilience alone is often misunderstood.
People are told to "be resilient."
But nobody teaches them how.
Capacity is different.
Capacity is about building the tools, skills, relationships and habits that help us navigate difficult periods before we find ourselves completely overwhelmed.
Think of it like a fuel tank.
When life is going well, we need to keep filling the tank.
Too often we wait until the warning light is flashing before we take action.
By then, everything feels harder.
Five Unique Strategies That Help When Anxiety Is Taking Over
Over the years I've learned that managing overwhelming stress isn't about one magic solution.
It's about having a toolbox.
Here are five strategies that have helped me and many of the people I work with.
1. Shrink the Horizon
When anxiety is high, our brains often jump months or years into the future.
We start trying to solve problems that don't even exist yet.
When this happens, I ask myself:
"What do I need to do in the next hour?"
Not next month.
Not next year.
The next hour.
Shrinking the horizon helps bring your brain back to what is controllable and achievable.
One step is always easier than twenty.
2. Borrow Someone Else's Calm
When we are stressed, we often isolate ourselves.
Yet connection is one of the most powerful regulators of anxiety.
Sometimes you don't need advice.
You simply need someone else's calm nervous system.
A trusted friend.
A partner.
A colleague.
A mentor.
Someone who can remind you that the world isn't ending, even when it feels like it is.
I've often said that conversations save lives.
They also reduce anxiety.
3. Create an Anchor Activity
Every person should have an activity that reconnects them to the present moment.
For some it's fishing.
For others it's walking.
Gardening.
Working with their hands.
Exercise.
Music.
For me, being outside has always been a powerful reset.
An anchor activity isn't about avoiding problems.
It's about creating enough mental space to approach those problems more effectively.
4. Ask Yourself: "What Evidence Do I Have?"
Anxiety often tells stories.
Usually the worst possible stories.
When I catch myself spiralling, I ask:
"What evidence do I actually have that this will happen?"
It's amazing how often anxiety is operating on assumptions rather than facts.
Separating facts from fears can dramatically reduce emotional intensity.
5. Build a Recovery Routine
Most people focus on productivity.
Very few focus on recovery.
Elite athletes understand that recovery is where growth occurs.
The same applies to mental wellbeing.
Your recovery routine might include:
Walking
Quality sleep
Exercise
Time with family
Reading
Journaling
Time in nature
Meaningful conversations
The goal isn't to earn recovery.
The goal is to prioritise it.
You Were Never Meant to Carry It Alone
One of the most important lessons I have learned is that strength isn't carrying everything yourself.
Strength is recognising when the load has become too heavy and allowing others to help carry it.
The strongest people I know ask for support.
The strongest leaders I know lean on others.
The strongest communities I have worked with understand that recovery happens together.
Not alone.
If you're currently feeling overwhelmed by stress or anxiety, I want you to know something.
What you're feeling is not unusual.
It doesn't mean you're failing.
It doesn't mean you're weak.
It doesn't mean you'll always feel this way.
Sometimes life simply becomes heavier than expected.
The goal isn't to pretend everything is okay.
The goal is to take the next step.
Have the conversation.
Ask for help.
Reconnect with people who matter.
Focus on what you can control.
Most importantly, remember that difficult seasons don't last forever.
I've lived through droughts, floods, business failure, identity loss and moments where I genuinely believed there was no future worth living for.
Yet here I am.
And if there is one thing I've learned, it's this:
You don't need to have all the answers today.
You just need enough courage to take the next step forward.
One conversation.
One decision.
One day at a time.
Because sometimes that's exactly how unbreakable is built.